we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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