I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
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Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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