Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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