i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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