"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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