discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize