This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize