yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I have demons in me.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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