Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
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But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
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I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
The ass gains better be worth it
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