Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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