i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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