he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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