so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
You can't just leave with hair like that
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize