Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
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The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
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Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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