Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
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