Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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