i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize