Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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