sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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