he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
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We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
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She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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