just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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