May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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