best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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