her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize