And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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