I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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