Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
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I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
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He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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