i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I lost the right to judge tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize