6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Randomize