I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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