you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Randomize