what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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