just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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