He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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