Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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