So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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