My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize