i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
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