my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize