Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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