i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Help me help you realize you are a moron
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize