Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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