I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I'm always down for nudity.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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