K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize