I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then the night went full on bisexual.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize