if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize