I think scott just propositioned me for sex
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
do nipples grow back?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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