My hand turned me down
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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