The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize