My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize